Sister S. R. - Healer

The next few posts will be about my companions that I had on my mission and the lessons that I learned from them.

Sister R. became my companion at a dark and scary time of my mission. She transferred in while I was in the process of getting help for myself. She too was struggling with things at the time. We had met a few times before hand on the mission and had a connection that was obvious and strong.

Sister R. helped me to realize that I was an awesome missionary already, even though I had so much to work on. She taught me to be grateful for the blessings that I had already. She taught me that I held myself to very high expectations. I felt like I could be myself around her and not be judged. I would make a fool of myself, and she would laugh with me. She never made me feel like I was a failure. I remember her saying "there is no such thing as failure, just temporary setbacks." She immediately loved me for who I was.

Sister R. taught me about small acts of service and how meaningful they can be. She would sing songs to me at night to help me fall asleep. She also would give me small massages when my back was hurting. She would write small notes to me, help me when I was sick, and more. Just so many things.

She was willing to be vulnerable with me and I was able to reciprocate and we built a very loving and caring bond. We were able to love, care, lift, inspire, encourage, and bless each other.

She has continued to be a rock in my life and I know that I can always call her if I need anything. Though I don't interact and spend as much time with her as I would like to nowadays, but every time we get together, it is like no time has passed between. The connection is deep and solid.

From my relationship with her, I have learned what it means to be honest and true with one another about feelings. I have learned what it means to stick with someone no matter what. I have learned what it means to love and to serve out of pure love. Not to get anything out of the service, but with the sole purpose being because of love for the other person. I have learned that it can take work, but it is always worth it. Building a relationship that is motivated by love and runs on pure love is the best kind of relationship.

That is the kind of relationship I hope to build with all who are close to me. I am grateful for the example of Sister R. in my life so that I can have a relationship to look back on that I can hope to have with others one day.

Grandparents of the Mission

This week I ran into some friends from High School. One of them had grandparents that served in my mission. I had talked to them and met them while out there, and yes, they did spoil us as missionaries.

I began to think about the senior missionaries on my mission more. Though I loved the Syracuse zone with all my heart, we didn't have senior couples that served in that zone. The Potsdam zone had many couples serving in various capacities and I learned so much from them. The senior missionary couples were great examples of marriage, companionship, and more. They served with all their hearts and did the best they could. They were like grandparents to us younger missionaries. It was nice to know that there were grandparently figures that we could call on if we needed. Many times they would bring bread to district meetings, give insight that we wouldn't have thought of as teenagers and early twenty year olds. They would help us see things from the perspective of members and investigators. They would remind us that it wasn't all about us as the missionaries, but that it really was about the people we were serving and that the people we were serving had lives. Sometimes you forget that as missionaries...

When I transferred from Potsdam to Syracuse, I missed the influence of the senior couples. Yet, the last zone I served in was in Owego and there were a few senior couples down there. I was excited to be around these wonderful people again. The enthusiasm and kindness that they showed was catching. Their sweetness and joy of the gospel was awesome. It was amazing to see people who had lived their lives want to come out and serve again. It was nice to hear their stories and why they were out to serve. It was great to see them overcome challenges physically and emotionally, just as we were as younger missionaries. I was often amazed at the work done by these couples. I thought I should be tired, but hearing about all the ways they served, I wondered how they did it all.

Our office missionaries were brilliant as well. Though I didn't interact with them in the field, I would talk to them over the phone and hear how things were going up there in Whitesboro. I interacted with them through records, mail, and cars. Their patience with us as silly younglings was stellar. They kept us in line. They had such great advice for our lives. They helped us learn how to live in our own. They gave us trainings for taking care of ourselves temporally. They taught me to lose myself in the work and that if I had any concerns about other things, to ask for help from them.


That brings me to the last senior couple, my mission president and his wife. Wow. I can not even begin to express the gratitude for these wonderful people. I am blown away by their service and their care for us as missionaries as well as all of the people that lived in upstate New York. Their love was unconditional for all. I saw smiles and genuine curiosity and concern for those that they interacted with. I saw them strive to understand the situations that they came across and them listen to the spirit so they would know how to proceed. I saw tenderness. I saw sternness. I saw humor and fun. I loved the example of doing your best and being obedient that I learned from these two. I am grateful for their love for me and that I knew that I could always call them when I struggled or at anytime.

I know that all of these missionaries were and are called of God. They have influenced many lives for the better. I am so grateful for all the missionaries that serve, but especially for the ones that keep us in line. The senior missionaries have such an impact that they will never comprehend. Much like teachers, they influence the next generation. Thank you to all that have serve, that are serving, and yet will serve. I appreciate you. I also want to say thank you to all of you that serve in your communities as well as in your families. No matter where you serve as a grandparent figure, you are worthy of the utmost gratitude. Thank you.

Allow Your Faith to Mature

When I attended Snow College, I also attended the Ephraim LDS Institute of Religion. While there, the Institute provided the students with little booklets to take notes in. On the front cover it had a picture of Christ and the words "Things of My Soul" taken from 2 Nephi 4:15 which reads "And upon these I write the things of my soul, and many of the scriptures which are engraven upon the plates of brass...."

I read this verse this morning and I began to reflect. Here is what I wrote paraphrased:

When I attended my second year at Snow, I feel as if I was in a state of ecstasy, purity, and innocence. Nothing could crush me. I was so happy and cheerful, on top of the world. And then the fire nation attacked. 
Ok, so I don't know what happened, but I feel like my innocence, naive-ness, and faith was squelched, drowned, and suppressed. I feel as if I haven't ever returned to that childlike state when I was writing in my TOMS booklets. [note to reader: I still keep a journal just like a TOMS]. Maybe that's a good thing? I don't know. I feel as if now I see the world through different eyes. More logically, critical, and realistic instead of rose colored glasses. I know what is out there now and I know how hard it can be. I got at least a minuscule taste of Gethsemane on my mission. Life isn't always happy valley. It's full of trenches and mountains too. Yet, there is always light ahead. There is a way to overcome. We will get stronger as we journey through and rely on Him and His strength. Alone, we are not strong enough, but with Him, everything is possible.

http://workoutplanz.com/lunges-and-life/

In short, I believe that my faith isn't so pure and simple anymore. There are experiences that won't allow it to be what it used to be. I don't want to say that it is crushed, but that it has matured. There is a deepness and more knowledge to it now than there was before. And that new understanding came because I lived in, saw, and experienced the world. I have a greater appreciation now for the faith I have. Yes, there are times when I miss how "simple" life use to be, but I am also grateful for the elaborate, intricate, and profound vision and perception I now have. The zone of proximal development (the growing zone or the stretching zone) truly helps us become better. Let's climb some mountains!

Music

Music is a beautiful and powerful carrier of the spirit. This principle affected me a lot on my mission. Just about everyone knows that missionaries have a different standard than the world when it comes to music.

Instead of trying to tell you what missionaries could and could not listen to, I'll just post this. This is what the missionary handbook says:

"Listen only to music that is consistent with the sacred spirit of your calling. Music should invite the Spirit, help you focus on the work, and direct your thoughts and feelings to the Savior. Do not listen to music that pulls your thoughts away from your work, merely entertains, has romantic lyrics or overtones, or dulls your spiritual sensitivity by its tempo, beat, loudness, lyrics, or intensity. Listening to music must never interfere with your personal preparation or proselyting...."

As I went through my mission I adjusted more and more to fit this standard. There were things at the beginning of my mission that I felt like may have fit into this standard, but as I continued to grow closer to the Lord, I realized that some of my music was distracting. I learned a lot about myself and my motives of why I listened to music. And as I did so, I weeded out some of the music I was listening to. I figured "hey, if I can feel wonderful while listening to music, why not always listen to the stuff that makes me feel wonderful?"

I also began to listen more to the lyrics to the music and I was blessed to have answers come to me as I listened. The music was powerful, the messages were pure and simple, yet overwhelming. The spirit was able to testify again and again to me that what I was doing (not just with music) was right.

There was a song that stood out to me then that still stands out to me now. Part of the lyrics of that song are these:

"...Don't be afraid to live as you know you should,
nothing bad can come from being too good.
You never can keep up with the praise of the world, it comes and goes.
You're born with His light, now let it show!
Don't give up what you want most for things you may want now,
though there are obstacles placed in your way, you'll overcome somehow.
Don't think that no one notices if you do what's right,
and don't think that nobody cares if you win or lose this fight,
'cause I know that He cares." -He Cares by 4 ordained (The album is called Bring Me Home)

This part of the song gives me courage to live according to what God has asked me to do. There are times when it is so hard to bring my will into line with His. There are other times when I feel as if I am being judged for being "too good", when in fact, that isn't a problem. I also love the line "don't give up what you want most for things you may want now." When God says "wait, I have something better in store." or "Hang on, that's not what you need." it can be hard to swallow. But I know that as we wait patiently and cheerfully on the Lord, that we will receive the fullness of all the gospel blessings if we are living righteously.

To close I want to just stick in this link to the First Presidency preface to the Hymns. I too want to testify that music can bring joy, peace, and consolation to the soul. We can receive answers from God. I also know that just like any other good tool the Lord has given us, the adversary has also put his music into the world. Music can be had for good or evil. I challenge all of us to go through our music and think about how it makes us feel. Think "would I be comfortable listening to this is front of my family, friends, or the Savior?" Evaluate, and come unto Christ. I know this will bless you because I have seen the changes in my own life as I have done the same thing. I also know it will help because the Lord promises us the same thing in D&C 25. Let us fill our lives with good things. :)

Study

Sometimes the best way to study a topic is to have others study it with you.

I came to know this on my mission, and once again was reminded of it recently. There have been a few topics of doctrines and principles that I have been meaning to study more and more about, and at times I have studied them more in depth. But there are times when I feel like I can't get any more revelation on the topic. There are questions that I just don't have answered.

When this would happen on my mission I would often ask my companion for their opinion. If she didn't have answers I would go to my leaders and my mission president. I would have already looked up these topics online on LDS.org but wasn't satisfied. More often then not, my companion or leaders would get back to me on the topic and would answer it in an inspired way.

I understand that this isn't always the case. There are times when the answers do not come even after much pondering, fasting, praying, and going to the temple. I understand that there are times when our leaders give us answers that don't satisfy the questions that we have posed. I understand that you may feel like you have exhausted all your resources to get an answer and will still be just as confused, if not more, than you were before.

This is when we wait with patience for the Lord to reveal to us the mysteries later.

D&C 25:4- Murmur not because of the things which thou hast not seen, for they are withheld from thee and from the world, which is wisdom in me in a time to come.

There are my two cents for this week. It's a little weak, but there you go.

here's a link to a talk that isn't really related, but can be in some ways...

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1989/10/murmur-not?lang=eng

Goal setting

Goals were always before me on my mission. We would set daily goals, weekly goals, transfer goals, etc.

http://firecider.com/blogs/news/16395573-setting-s-m-a-r-t-goals

So one would expect a returned missionary to be good at setting and accomplishing goals right? Well, unfortunately, many of us don't keep up on that skill. Yet, there are some that do. 

Recently I have been trying harder to keep up on my goals. And truly the way to keep up on them is to be accountable for them. It's also good to set goals that actually mean something to you so that you stay motivated. 

Preach My Gospel has a great section on goal setting and using time wisely as well as accountability. Check it out! Here's a little bit from it:

"Goals reflect the desires of our hearts and our vision of what we can accomplish. Through goals and plans, our hopes are transformed into action. Goal setting and planning are acts of faith." -PMG

"I am so thoroughly convinced that if we don’t set goals in our life and learn how to master the techniques of living to reach our goals, we can reach a ripe old age and look back on our life only to see that we reached but a small part of our full potential. When one learns to master the principles of setting a goal, he will then be able to make a great difference in the results he attains in this life.”

–Elder M. Russell Ballard

I love that we are not expected to always meet our goals, we can tweak them to fit us better. Sometimes we set our expectations too high, not only for ourselves but for others too. It's rough when we don't reach our goals, but instead of beating ourselves up about not reaching the goal, we can take a step back and figure out what we can do with a little bit of stretching. 

Someone who isn't very flexible is not going to be able to touch their toes in one day, they will have to stretch just a little bit every day until they can touch their toes. 

God doesn't expect us to become like Him in one day. Becoming like God is a process, it takes time to get to that point. It takes time to stretch and grow and become like Him. We are spiritually so so young! And we only have been in a body for a few short mortal years! We have so much to learn and grow that we don't really have time to beat up on ourselves. 

God sees so much more of our potential than what we see ourselves, we must learn to trust in Him and His plan. He will help us reach our potential more fully than anyone else can. As we prayerfully set goals, we can reach the stars! 

Three temptations

One of my favorite zone meetings was about fulfilling our purpose. The way that the leaders decided to present the topic was to present the three temptations that prevent us from fulfilling our purpose.

Now, before I write those down, I want to make clear that these things prevent any of us from fulfilling any of our purposes. Whatever may be on your to do list, completing a project at work, etc.

Some of us may wonder "what is my purpose?" There are many answers I could give to that question, the most basic being to become like God and return home to Him. For more specific ways on how to do that, I encourage you to turn to the Lord through study and prayer and He will help you find specific goals of how to fulfill your purpose right now.

...

First off is TIME... here's an example from Elder Oaks
"None of us should be like the fisherman who thinks he has been fishing all day when in reality he has spent most of his time getting to and from the water, eating lunch, and fussing with his equipment. Fishing success is related to how long you have your line in the water, not to how long you are away from the apartment. Some fishermen are away from home for twelve hours and have their line in the water for ten hours. Other fishermen are away from home for twelve hours and have their line in the water for only two hours. This last type may wonder why they do not have the same success as others."

As we go out to fulfill our purpose, how much time are we really focused on fulfilling our purpose and how much time are we sitting around eating lunch or fussing with our equipment? Yes, there does need to be time for those things, but how much time are you wasting as you strive to fulfill your purpose? Two minutes every day does build up. What ways can you spend your time more wisely? How can planning help that?


I know that I am guilty of being the lax fisherman who doesn't have his line in the water very long at all. Yet, I am beginning to see that and I'm figuring out new ways of how I can plan more effective and productive activities for my day to help me fulfill my purpose and progress. All of which have been found through study and prayer as I have carefully and thoughtfully planned out my days. The Lord answers (Matthew 7:7).

Next is INDECISION...
What makes us indecisive? Fear, lack of revelation, lack of plans? There are many reasons of why we may be indecisive.

One scripture that was shared with us was 2 Timothy 1:7- "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

Sometimes we are so caught up in the "I have to pray about this" that we forget that the Lord has also given us a sound mind and that at times we must make our own decisions. As long as we are anxiously engaged in a good cause, and we have also made the decision to follow God as He guides us, then we are fine.

One of my favorite quotes "you can not steer a parked car." Many times we must go forward with faith and trust that all will be well.

Another thing that will help us all with indecision is having back up plans. When you are trying to fulfill your purpose and all your plans to do so don't work out, go try fishing in a different spot. Don't just go home and call it a day, but say, "hey, maybe the water is better over here. I'll drop my line here instead."

Last is "My will vs. Thy will"
John 6:38  "For I came down from heaven, not do to mine own will, but the will of him that sent me."
Sometimes we are so gung ho and think we are doing everything that God wants us to do, but in reality, we are not. We forget to pray and find out His will. We think we know better. We think that because of our experience, we can figure this problem out on our own.

http://pixshark.com/kneeling-in-prayer.htm

Well, why not ask God, the being that knows all things past, present, and future? His experience and His knowledge is much more vast than yours. Hmm....

Humility is key my friends, take time to kneel and ask the Father what He would have you do. I promise you that as you do so, your mind will be clearer of which path you ought to take to fulfill your purpose.

I just want to wrap this up by saying that I know that our Father in Heaven answers our prayers. He is anxious to help us, all we need to do is ask. He is so pleased when we come to Him with a broken heart and contrite spirit ready to learn from Him. He loves seeing us grow up spiritually. He loves to see us take accountability for our actions and our growth. He is happy when we decide to be agents unto our selves and take our purpose seriously. I am grateful that the atonement is real and that is makes it possible for me to change and grow, for without it, I would be nothing. I am grateful for the enabling power of the atonement, grace, which gives me the strength to fulfill my purpose.