Sister S. R. - Healer

The next few posts will be about my companions that I had on my mission and the lessons that I learned from them.

Sister R. became my companion at a dark and scary time of my mission. She transferred in while I was in the process of getting help for myself. She too was struggling with things at the time. We had met a few times before hand on the mission and had a connection that was obvious and strong.

Sister R. helped me to realize that I was an awesome missionary already, even though I had so much to work on. She taught me to be grateful for the blessings that I had already. She taught me that I held myself to very high expectations. I felt like I could be myself around her and not be judged. I would make a fool of myself, and she would laugh with me. She never made me feel like I was a failure. I remember her saying "there is no such thing as failure, just temporary setbacks." She immediately loved me for who I was.

Sister R. taught me about small acts of service and how meaningful they can be. She would sing songs to me at night to help me fall asleep. She also would give me small massages when my back was hurting. She would write small notes to me, help me when I was sick, and more. Just so many things.

She was willing to be vulnerable with me and I was able to reciprocate and we built a very loving and caring bond. We were able to love, care, lift, inspire, encourage, and bless each other.

She has continued to be a rock in my life and I know that I can always call her if I need anything. Though I don't interact and spend as much time with her as I would like to nowadays, but every time we get together, it is like no time has passed between. The connection is deep and solid.

From my relationship with her, I have learned what it means to be honest and true with one another about feelings. I have learned what it means to stick with someone no matter what. I have learned what it means to love and to serve out of pure love. Not to get anything out of the service, but with the sole purpose being because of love for the other person. I have learned that it can take work, but it is always worth it. Building a relationship that is motivated by love and runs on pure love is the best kind of relationship.

That is the kind of relationship I hope to build with all who are close to me. I am grateful for the example of Sister R. in my life so that I can have a relationship to look back on that I can hope to have with others one day.

Grandparents of the Mission

This week I ran into some friends from High School. One of them had grandparents that served in my mission. I had talked to them and met them while out there, and yes, they did spoil us as missionaries.

I began to think about the senior missionaries on my mission more. Though I loved the Syracuse zone with all my heart, we didn't have senior couples that served in that zone. The Potsdam zone had many couples serving in various capacities and I learned so much from them. The senior missionary couples were great examples of marriage, companionship, and more. They served with all their hearts and did the best they could. They were like grandparents to us younger missionaries. It was nice to know that there were grandparently figures that we could call on if we needed. Many times they would bring bread to district meetings, give insight that we wouldn't have thought of as teenagers and early twenty year olds. They would help us see things from the perspective of members and investigators. They would remind us that it wasn't all about us as the missionaries, but that it really was about the people we were serving and that the people we were serving had lives. Sometimes you forget that as missionaries...

When I transferred from Potsdam to Syracuse, I missed the influence of the senior couples. Yet, the last zone I served in was in Owego and there were a few senior couples down there. I was excited to be around these wonderful people again. The enthusiasm and kindness that they showed was catching. Their sweetness and joy of the gospel was awesome. It was amazing to see people who had lived their lives want to come out and serve again. It was nice to hear their stories and why they were out to serve. It was great to see them overcome challenges physically and emotionally, just as we were as younger missionaries. I was often amazed at the work done by these couples. I thought I should be tired, but hearing about all the ways they served, I wondered how they did it all.

Our office missionaries were brilliant as well. Though I didn't interact with them in the field, I would talk to them over the phone and hear how things were going up there in Whitesboro. I interacted with them through records, mail, and cars. Their patience with us as silly younglings was stellar. They kept us in line. They had such great advice for our lives. They helped us learn how to live in our own. They gave us trainings for taking care of ourselves temporally. They taught me to lose myself in the work and that if I had any concerns about other things, to ask for help from them.


That brings me to the last senior couple, my mission president and his wife. Wow. I can not even begin to express the gratitude for these wonderful people. I am blown away by their service and their care for us as missionaries as well as all of the people that lived in upstate New York. Their love was unconditional for all. I saw smiles and genuine curiosity and concern for those that they interacted with. I saw them strive to understand the situations that they came across and them listen to the spirit so they would know how to proceed. I saw tenderness. I saw sternness. I saw humor and fun. I loved the example of doing your best and being obedient that I learned from these two. I am grateful for their love for me and that I knew that I could always call them when I struggled or at anytime.

I know that all of these missionaries were and are called of God. They have influenced many lives for the better. I am so grateful for all the missionaries that serve, but especially for the ones that keep us in line. The senior missionaries have such an impact that they will never comprehend. Much like teachers, they influence the next generation. Thank you to all that have serve, that are serving, and yet will serve. I appreciate you. I also want to say thank you to all of you that serve in your communities as well as in your families. No matter where you serve as a grandparent figure, you are worthy of the utmost gratitude. Thank you.

Allow Your Faith to Mature

When I attended Snow College, I also attended the Ephraim LDS Institute of Religion. While there, the Institute provided the students with little booklets to take notes in. On the front cover it had a picture of Christ and the words "Things of My Soul" taken from 2 Nephi 4:15 which reads "And upon these I write the things of my soul, and many of the scriptures which are engraven upon the plates of brass...."

I read this verse this morning and I began to reflect. Here is what I wrote paraphrased:

When I attended my second year at Snow, I feel as if I was in a state of ecstasy, purity, and innocence. Nothing could crush me. I was so happy and cheerful, on top of the world. And then the fire nation attacked. 
Ok, so I don't know what happened, but I feel like my innocence, naive-ness, and faith was squelched, drowned, and suppressed. I feel as if I haven't ever returned to that childlike state when I was writing in my TOMS booklets. [note to reader: I still keep a journal just like a TOMS]. Maybe that's a good thing? I don't know. I feel as if now I see the world through different eyes. More logically, critical, and realistic instead of rose colored glasses. I know what is out there now and I know how hard it can be. I got at least a minuscule taste of Gethsemane on my mission. Life isn't always happy valley. It's full of trenches and mountains too. Yet, there is always light ahead. There is a way to overcome. We will get stronger as we journey through and rely on Him and His strength. Alone, we are not strong enough, but with Him, everything is possible.

http://workoutplanz.com/lunges-and-life/

In short, I believe that my faith isn't so pure and simple anymore. There are experiences that won't allow it to be what it used to be. I don't want to say that it is crushed, but that it has matured. There is a deepness and more knowledge to it now than there was before. And that new understanding came because I lived in, saw, and experienced the world. I have a greater appreciation now for the faith I have. Yes, there are times when I miss how "simple" life use to be, but I am also grateful for the elaborate, intricate, and profound vision and perception I now have. The zone of proximal development (the growing zone or the stretching zone) truly helps us become better. Let's climb some mountains!